7-Habits Of Highly Effective Muslim Couples In Islam

Allah SWT says in the Qur’an:

“And of His signs is that He created for you from yourselves mates that you may find tranquility in them, and He placed between you affection and mercy. Indeed in that are signs for a people who give thought.” [Qur’an: Chapter 30, Verse 21]”

Marriage is a sacred bond that brings two individuals together for a lifetime of love, support, and companionship. Not only Islam acknowledges the importance of marriage but also guides individuals on how to live contented lives with their spouses.

As we grow older and mature, we need someone by our side to share life's ups and downs with. We desire a spouse, who becomes a part of us and brings us love and support in a way no one else can. Marriage is more than just a tag. Spouses are life partners who stand together through thick and thin and help each other grow into the best version. In a nutshell, a spouse is our other half that shares our life journey and someone who completes half of the deen. 

No one marital journey is the same, some couples maintain a happy and harmonious relationship despite the challenges that life may bring. While in other marriages, spouses struggle to handle conflict and follow through hard times. 

If you are struggling with your marriage, don’t worry. To help you build a successful and prosperous married life, this article provides the qualities found in highly effective Muslim couples. 

1. They communicate like friends.

Every successful relationship, including marriage, requires strong communication. Our beloved Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) is an excellent example of how communication brings happiness and joy into marriage. Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) always showed love and affection towards his wives. With Hazrat Aisha (may Allah be pleased with her), he (PBUH) often engaged in playful activities like racing.

Muslim couples follow the sunnah of the beloved Prophet (peace be upon him) and prioritize effective communication in their marriages. They laugh together, share their happiness, and sorrow, cherish one another with small pleasant surprises, and talk like friends. They not only plan big surprises to make their spouse happy, but they understand that even the smallest gestures can make a big difference in a relationship.

The following narration by Hazrat Ayesha R.A (may Allāh be pleased with her) explains how the Prophet (peace be upon him) identified and navigated her moods by the way she communicated with him. 

“Allah’s Messenger ṣallallāhu 'alayhi wa sallam (peace and blessings of Allāh be upon him) said to her: “I know when you are pleased with me or angry with me.” I said, “Whence do you know that?” He said, “When you are pleased with me, you say, ‘No, by the Lord of Muhammad,’ but when you are angry with me, then you say, ‘No, by the Lord of Abraham.’ ” Thereupon I said, “Yes (you are right), but by Allah, O Allah’s Messenger, I leave nothing but your name.” [Bukhari]”

2. They love each other to please Allah

Marriage is a blissful union brought together by Allah for a lifetime of love and support. The ideal Muslim couple loves one another for the sake of Allah and strives to please Him in all aspects of their relationship. By loving and caring for each other, they become sources of joy and happiness for one another.

Pious and religious spouses nurture their shared faith and seek to grow closer to Allah together. They do not dwell on each other's shortcomings but instead help and encourage each other in their journey toward spiritual growth. It shows the strength of their faith and character, and it is a blessing from Allah to have someone who not only makes our lives beautiful in this world but also helps us to earn His blessings hereafter.

Abu Huraira reported: The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said:

“The most complete of believers in faith are those with the best character, and the best of you are the best in behavior to their women.”

(Source: Sunan al-Tirmidhī 1162)

3. Show gratitude for having each other

Simple acts of love and kindness can profoundly impact the relationship with your spouse. A smile, a kind word, or a thoughtful gesture can brighten your spouse's day and bring the two of you closer. When we show gratitude for our spouse, we create a positive and supportive relationship that strengthens our bond. 

Perfect Muslim couples show gratitude for what Allah has provided for them. The righteous people always thank their creator for having a roof over their heads, food to eat, and clothing to wear. It helps them maintain a positive outlook on life and deepens their connection with their Lord. By recognizing and appreciating Allah's blessings, we can experience greater contentment and happiness in our lives and marriages.

Contented couples live their life according to the following hadith:

“He who does not thank the people is not thankful to Allah.” [Abu Dawud]

In the Quran, Allah mentions the act of being grateful in the following words:

“If you are grateful, I would certainly give you more; and if you are ungrateful, My chastisement is truly severe.” (14:7)

4. Their comfort comes from being together

Marriage is a beautiful and holy connection between two souls who come together to support each other through life's ups and downs. The ideal and devoted Muslim spouses prioritize emotional support and understand each other. When one partner is going through a difficult time, the other is there to listen, comfort, and encourage them.

A successful and happy relationship requires a strong emotional connection between partners, where both individuals are committed to being supportive. In other words, no matter what happens, your spouse will always be there to help you get back up and face the world together. The bond between Prophet (PBUH) and his wives is an excellent example. The Prophet PBUH always treated his wives with love, compassion, and respect, and they, in turn, supported Him in His duties as a prophet and leaders (Subhan Allah).

Upon the first revelation, the Prophet (SAWW) was in fear and turned to Khadijah (R.A) for support and consolation, saying:

“O Khadijah! What is wrong with me? I was afraid that something bad might happen to me.” Then he told her the story. Khadijah raḍyAllāhu 'anha (may Allāh be pleased with her) said, “Nay! But receive the good tidings! By Allah, Allah will never disgrace you, for by Allah, you keep good relations with your kith and kin, speak the truth, help the poor and the destitute, entertain your guests generously, and assist those who are stricken with calamities.” [Bukhari]

5. They prioritize each other needs

Marital life is a journey of two hearts becoming one, sharing, loving, laughing, and building a life filled with beautiful memories. When two people from different backgrounds enter marital life, they become responsible for each other's physical, emotional, and personal needs.

Men are robust and strong because Allah SWT made them that way, but they still need someone to love and care for them. So, HE (SWT) created women to bring comfort and emotional support to the relationship. Marriage is about sharing responsibilities; it's the husband's responsibility to appreciate his wife, understand her emotionally, satisfy her desires, and provide for her needs. On the other hand, it's the wife's role to comfort her husband and support him through life's challenges.

The relationship between Prophet (PBUH) and his wives serves as a beautiful example of the love and affection that can exist between partners. The Prophet (PBUH) showed devotion to his wives. For example, he drank water from the same glass side as Hazrat Ayesha (R.A) to show her that she was truly loved.

6. They help each other to grow

Marriage is a lifelong relationship that supports personal growth, encourages individual strengths, and challenges you to become the best version of yourself. When two individuals with different families, perspectives, and goals come together, they bring out the best in each other and create a harmonious union.

In a healthy and effective marriage, partners support each other's personal growth. They encourage each other to pursue their passions and interests. When one spouse is passionate about a goal that is good for their family, the other spouse backs them up and empowers them to pursue it. It helps both partners to grow and reach their full potential.

The love and support of a spouse can be a powerful motivator, helping individuals to overcome challenges and achieve their goals. In this way, marriage becomes a foundation for personal growth and self-improvement. 

7. Their relationship always comes before their egos

Having different perspectives and opinions is natural when two people live together. However, the key to a successful marriage is cooperating, listening to each other, and prioritizing the relationship above personal ego.

Effective Muslim couples always remember that the relationship is more important than being right or winning an argument. By putting the relationship first, couples can avoid letting disagreements escalate into conflicts that can harm the relationship.

Silence is a powerful tool for resolving conflicts. When both partners are willing to listen to each other and put their egos aside, they can come to a resolution that benefits the relationship. And by doing so, they not only please Allah SWT but also displease Shaytan, who seeks to create discord and strife between couples.

The Prophet (SAWW) said:

“I guarantee a house in Jannah for one who gives up arguing, even if he is in the right… ” [Abu Dawud]

Final Thoughts

A successful marital relationship is built on love, empathy, forgiveness, and, above all, mutual understanding. It requires commitment, sacrifice, and the willingness to confront challenges and conflicts together. Marriage is a lifelong journey of two hearts coming together to create a love story that will endure through good times and bad. 

Allah SWT blessed the marriage union with barakah. When couples tie the knot in a Halal way, they embark on a journey filled with love, joy, and companionship. However, the relationship between two people is not always smooth, and it takes effort on both sides to maintain a healthy and thriving relationship.

If you are blessed with a happy and harmonious marital life, (Alhumdulliah) may Allah sustain this tranquility for you (Ameen). And if you are facing challenges, may Allah bestow his barakah and Rehm upon your marital life and guide you towards happiness and fulfillment (Ameen and Insha Allah).