Love, tenderness, and affection are universal human experiences. While often misunderstood or overlooked, the Islamic perspective on romance provides a framework for nurturing love and emotional connection within the boundaries defined by faith. The life of Prophet Muhammad SAW is the perfect example of the notion of romance in Islam.
This article explores the beauty of romance in Islam, exploring the Sunnah of our beloved Prophet SAW. It helps in understanding the Islamic perspective on romance, providing valuable insights into how love and affection are celebrated, protected, and cherished within the boundaries of marriage.
1. Lay on the Lap of Your Wife
Resting on the lap of your wife is a beautiful and tender experience. It depicts a sense of comfort and trust among spouses. It is a Sunnah way of strengthening the emotional bond between husband and wife. As narrated by Hazrat Aisha R.A:
“The Prophet (ﷺ) used to lean on my lap and recite Qur'an while I was in menses.”
Sahih al-Bukhari 297: Book 6, Hadith 4
2. Have Fun With Your Wife
Engaging in playful activities and having fun together brings joy and an atmosphere of shared enjoyment. It's a great way to deal with the stress and responsibilities of daily life. Whether indoor activities or outdoor adventures, both promote a deeper connection between spouses and allow each other to explore their interests.
Hazrat Aisha R.A reported:
“She was with the Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, while on a journey. Aisha said, “I raced him on foot and I outran him, but when I gained some weight, I raced him again and he outran me. The Prophet said: This is for that race.”
Sunan Abī Dāwūd 2578
3. Help with Housework
Helping your wife in household activities fosters a sense of togetherness and care. It reflects the willingness to share responsibilities and creates a supportive environment. Helping your wife with housework is an expression of love and respect. It shows that you value her time, efforts, and contributions to the household. Al-Aswad bin Yazid narrated:
“I asked `Aisha "What did the Prophet (ﷺ) use to do at home?" She said, "He used to work for his family, and when he heard the Adhan (call for the prayer), he would go out."
Sahih al-Bukhari 5363: Book 69, Hadith 13
4. Respect Your Spouse’s Parents, Siblings, and Friends
The love for your spouse goes beyond the beloved and extends to their loved ones. And we find it in the life of our Prophet SAW. The Prophet’s SAW love for Hazrat Khadija R.A. is a remarkable love story for all times. His love for Hazrat Khadija R.A continued to be the reason for caring for her loved ones after her death. Prophet SAW used to send the meat to Hazrat Khadija’s R.A friends whenever a goat was slaughtered in his house.
Respecting your spouse's parents, siblings, and friends reflects a deep appreciation for the important relationships in your spouse’s life. Treating them with kindness, consideration, and respect strengthens your relationship with them and contributes to their happiness and sense of belonging.
5. Foreplay Before Intimacy
When approaching your wife, refrain from suddenly rushing towards her. Instead, begin by expressing words of affection and exchanging kisses. The Prophet advised not to approach your wife abruptly, resembling an animal's behavior. Rather, send a gentle message of love before engaging in intimacy.
Prophet SAW said:
“None of you should come on to his wife like an animal, but rather there should be between them a messenger.” It was said, “What is the messenger, O Prophet of Allah?” He replied, “Kisses and sweet words.”
Ithaf al-Sadat al-Muttaqin bi Sharh Ihya Ulum ad-Din 6:175
6. Ensure The Comfort of Your Spouse
Small gestures of care strengthen a relationship's foundation of trust and love. Your spouse's emotional or physical well-being creates a space where they feel safe and understood. Listening, providing reassurance, and showing empathy all count as being attentive and responsive to their needs.
When Safiyyah R.A. wanted to ride a camel, the Prophet SAW bent his knees for her to climb on, but she refused to put her feet on his thigh out of reverence. Instead, she put her knee on his thigh and mounted the camel.
7. Share Drinks and Food With Your Spouse
Sharing drinks and food is another beautiful Sunnah of our Prophet SAW. In addition to nourishing the body, it nourishes the emotional connection too. And as Muslims, we believe that sharing a meal is associated with bringing Barakah to the household.
Hazrat Aisha R.A said:
“I used to take a sip from the cup, at a point when I was in a state of menstruation. I then passed it over to the Prophet where he would place his lips on the place where I had placed mine and drank from it. I would also nibble a bone where thereTreatingat are left. I then passed it over to the Prop strengthens again would place his lips on the place where I left mine.”
Hadith by Imam An-Nasa’i
8. Becoming Attractive for Your Spouse
By making conscious choices to enhance your appearance for your spouse, you show them that you value their attention and appreciate their affection. Taking care of your physical appearance can involve various acts, such as dressing in a way that makes you feel confident and appealing, grooming yourself to look your best, and engaging in activities that promote health and well-being.
Miqdam b. Shuraih narrated it from his father, who said:
I asked A'isha what Allah's Apostle (ﷺ) did first when he entered his house, and she replied: “He used tooth-stick (first of all).”
Sahih Muslim 253a: Book 2, Hadith 57
Abu Ayyub narrated that the Messenger of Allah said:
"Four are from the Sunan of the Messengers: Al-Hayat, using Atar, the Siwak, and marriage."
Sunan al-Tirmidhi 1080
9. Be Forbearing Towards Your Spouse
Genuine intimacy is embracing another person unconditionally. The circumstances of life will inevitably unveil all aspects of your partner, including flaws and imperfections. The actions of our Prophet Muhammad SAW offer guidance in this matter too. He showed exemplary patience and thoughtfulness when faced with anger, disagreements, or unbecoming behavior from his own wives. It invites us to pause and contemplate before responding when our loved ones make mistakes. It is recommended to stay patient when your spouse is angry rather than actively engaging with them to spark their anger further. Instead, you shall wait until the next person calms down and can speak with reasoning.
Lady Aisha reported The Messenger of Allah ﷺ said:
“Indeed, I can tell when you are angry or pleased with me.” I said, “How do you know that, O Messenger of Allah?” The Prophet said, “Verily, when you are pleased, you say: Yes, by the Lord of Muhammad! But when we you are upset, you say: No, by the Lord of Abraham!” I said, “Yes, I do not leave out anything but your name.”
Sahih al Bukhari, 5228
10. Bath With Your Spouse
Another romantic Sunnah we find in the life of Prophet Muhammad SAW is bathing with your spouse. It is a remarkably beautiful and intimate experience that creates a profound sense of closeness and connection.
I and the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) took a bath from one vessel which was placed between me and him and he would get ahead of me, so that I would say: Spare (some water for) me, spare (some water for) me; and she said that they had had sexual intercourse.
Sahih Muslim 321d: Book 3, Hadith 54
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