5 things to look for in a Muslim proposal for a successful marriage in an Islamic way

Marriage is one of the crucial and most life-changing decisions. It’s a sunnah and regarded as completing half of your deen. As narrated by the Prophet SAW:

“One who marries has already guarded half of his religion, therefore he should fear Allah for the other half.” [1]

Marriage is a lifelong commitment, and you cannot settle for anything less than what you deserve. But finding the right person can easily get overwhelming with questions like how do you find a spouse and what should you look for in a potential partner? Islam guides in this aspect, just as it does in every other area of life. Based on the teachings of our religion, here are the 5 things we recommend you consider in a person for a successful marriage.

1. Religiosity

The top quality to look for in a Muslim proposal is the piety of the next person. Righteousness is the foremost and fundamental factor in the criteria of souse selection. Ali Akbar Mazahei puts stress on piety in the book “Youth and Spouse Selection” in the following words:

“The person who does not have a religion does not have anything.” [2]

Religiousness is referred to as the root of branches and fruits. If a person is religious in its true sense, they have many good qualities like purity of the heart, nobility, and modesty.  Also, a religious person cannot have a prosperous life with an irreligious person. Therefore, not only should you look for a religious spouse but also strive to increase your level of religiosity. This way, you may enjoy the success of this world and beyond.

But how do you determine if a person has Taqwa? You can get an idea of a person’s attachment to their deen from their way of life. If religion plays a significant role in their daily activities and decisions, then there’s a high chance they are devoted to Islam.

Moreover, give weight to why a person wants to get married. Because marrying for the right reasons provides the necessary foundation for a strong bond. This idea is stated by the Prophet SAW in the following narration:

“A man who marries a woman for the sake of her wealth, Allah leaves him in his condition, and the one who marries her (only) for her beauty, he will find in her (things) which he dislikes (displeasing matters) and the one who marries her for the sake of her faith (religiousness), Allah will gather up all these things for him.”

2. Character

Character is the second most important thing to look for in a potential spouse. Good manners and nature are paramount for a healthy and peaceful life. The Prophet SAW puts stress on manners in his saying as follows:

“If you find a boy whose Akhlaq (ethics/manners) is good and who follows the faith properly, give your daughter in marriage to him. If matches are made without considering the aspects of akhlaq and faith, it will cause mischief and disturbance in the Islamic society.”[2]

Marriage is a lifelong commitment, meaning you have to live with the next person and experience their etiquette and habits. Therefore, character and morality are basic requirements for a healthy and blossoming relationship. Some of the qualities of a decent character are as follows:

• Decent use of language

• Truthfulness

• Respect

• Politeness

• Generosity

• Patience

• Trustworthiness and more.

To get an idea about someone’s character, look at how they treat the people around them. Also, you can ask the people in their immediate circle how they treat them. Watch for any red flags while observing the next person during social interactions.

3. Compatibility

Compatibility is like the chef’s special ingredient to ensuring you’ll find peace of heart and mind in marriage. Having a partner that understands you and your choices makes adjusting to this new life easier and smooth. A sound mind is another primary condition for both parties involved in the marital contract. Spouses should have sound reasoning to manage life and make life decisions. 

Also, consider compatibility in terms of how you want to raise your kids. Since conflict can arise when both spouses have different aspirations on how they want to raise kids. Putting compatibility into the spotlight can help you avoid the unforeseeable damages of choosing an incompatible partner.  

It’s not necessary to share habits, interests, and hobbies but an openness toward what the next person is passionate about is an essential aspect of compatibility. Also, having similar mindsets and worldviews regarding different life areas helps couples grow together. Cultural and physical compatibility is also important to look for in a spouse.

4. Family 

Marriage is a social institution, and it's a great responsibility to build a family. And a good family background is another vital thing to consider when choosing a spouse. 

The moral, spiritual, intellectual, and physical qualities of a family are transferred through heritage, environment, and training. Therefore, family nobility is another fundamental condition of marriage. The prophet of Islam (S) said the following in this regard: 

“Marry from a decent family, for genealogy affect very much.”

At another place, the Prophet SAW said:

“Investigate very carefully and minutely as to where you will place your place your child, for genealogy affects very much.”

Don’t look at the family in terms of their fame, wealth, and social status; rather, religiosity and good reputation in society.

5. Profession

Having a partner that can provide for the family is also essential. Looking for a rich prospect as a means to enjoy a luxurious lifestyle is a misguided attitude and not sustainable. However, you still have to pay attention to the financial standing of a marriage proposal. 

A person willing to work hard and provide for his family is still a good option to consider. It is also advised to look at the economic standing of the potential spouse. Also, a profession impacts the family in many ways. Be aware of the careers you might find incompatible with the lifestyle you are familiar with. And whether you would be willing to adapt it according to that of the next person when entering into marriage with them. 

Takeaways

If you are struggling to find a spouse and are tired of Rishta aunties, check out the Proposal Muslim marriage app for free and let it find you the best match based on your personality. Proposal is a popular Muslim marriage app revolutionizing how Muslims find their partners online with its “proposal request” feature that expires within 48 hours. Try it for free today and find your best match.

References:

[2] Youth and Spouse Selection, Ali Akbar Mazaheri, Ansariyan Publication